it was like eating out sand paper
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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