the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
