You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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