capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
