Pants 0. Shit 1.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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