so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
