My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
