You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
