umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
