She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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