There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
