Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
