good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I smell like Dick and happiness
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
