I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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