id be glad to
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
nutella sex= disaster
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
