Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
