Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
