I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
