My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
