Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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