just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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