i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Use "feeling words"
Yay
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
