so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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