thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
