You smell like stripper and shame
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Can I color on your dick again?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
