What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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