You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
