He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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