Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
