I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
