I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
