Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
