i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
