she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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