i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
