we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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