I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
