Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
