I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
