she looked like the before picture.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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