I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
