That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
