If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
