I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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