wake up i wanna do it froggy style
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
