why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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