i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i now understand why vodka
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
