Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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