the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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