You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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