actually, I'm a sock model
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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