got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
His nipple licking is glorious
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